


An Ed in the Hand

by GloriaVictoria (orphan_account)



Category: Ed Edd n Eddy
Genre: Blowjobs, First Time, Kissing, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-26
Updated: 2013-07-26
Packaged: 2017-12-21 09:49:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/898873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/GloriaVictoria
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Honestly, it’s smut. Rolf goes to visit Ed in the shed to chastise him about something and ends up getting a blowjob. It’s great.</p>
            </blockquote>





	An Ed in the Hand

**Author's Note:**

> Ed and Rolf have been aged up a bit here, so to my mind, Rolf is 18 and Ed is around 16 or 17, since I imagine them both to be older members of the group. Alternate title for this fic is “One Night With the Ed-boy".

It had happened again: the tallest Ed-Boy had taken residence in Rolf’s shed. Every now and again, the tyranny of his sister, the screeching terror, would force him out of his true home and to seek refuge elsewhere. Nobody could say that Rolf was not a generous host, though the Ed-boy’s visits often ended in complete chaos for his farmwork: beets uprooted, chickens in disarray, food spoils sloshed out of the trough. Even Nana had complained that her foot oilings had been disturbed by the sound of strange moaning and gargling from the shed, which sat just outside her bedroom window. Rolf found that it was best to keep Nana appeased, and so, just before the sun had set behind the roofs of the cul-de-sac, when his work had been completed, he made his way to the shed to educate the Ed-boy on the proper ways of the Old Country.

Peeling himself out of his sweaty T-shirt, Rolf threw it into the hamper and made his way to the shed. Throwing open the door, he found Ed laughing beneath his sheets, occasionally throwing a comic out from his fort onto the floor. Rolf had stopped requiring Ed to remove his belongings every time he returned, willingly or no, to his actual home, and so the shed had literally become a second house for Ed. The items had accumulated fast, but arguably the shed was in far better shape, as Rolf required Ed to keep the shed “cleaner than the skin of a newly-born piglet". Nevertheless, it had become quite cluttered, and Rolf could see Victor poking his head out from beneath a pile of assorted papers and dirty clothes. Seeing his chance to escape, he bleated loudly and capered out into the lawn again. Rolf crossed his arms over his bare chest, narrowing his eyes dangerously. 

" _Nincompoop Ed-boy!_ Emerge and face Rolf!" Ed poked his head out from beneath his comforter and chuckled louder. “You have broken the rules of hospitality that Rolf and those of the Old Country must live by! Nana is disturbed by your moanings and groanings, and that must come to an end, else Rolf may suffer dire consequences!" Ed rolled out of his bed and made his way over to Rolf in his ungainly way.

"Relax, Rolf. Things look better on the buttered side of the toast." Rolf pursed his lips and raised his brow suspiciously.

"Do not try to distract Rolf with your foolish words. Rolf shall not be distracted from his duties!" Ed cocked his head to the side and stared at Rolf, who was becoming quite unnerved by Ed’s unreadable expression. “Cow-eyed Ed-boy! Answer Rolf!"

"You didn’t ask me a question." Rolf blinked, flustered at having been called out on such a silly mistake.

"W-well…Ed-boy, you must listen to Rolf. Rolf is a generous host, yes? He opens his shed for you, asks only that you help Rolf to squash the raspberries with your enormous feet, or with Rolf’s indecipherable homework. And what does Rolf get in return? Nothing but—Ed-boy, what are you up to on Rolf’s masculine chest?" Ed had placed both hands on Rolf’s chest, still slightly damp and sticky from sweat. His eyes were fixed upon the muscles that rippled gently under his skin, developed from years of toil. Ed ran a finger down his side, and Rolf shivered. “E-ed-boy, you must stop tingling the skin of Rolf, he has not finished chiding you for your laziness."

"You have nice skin, Rolf." Ed murmured, laying his palm on Rolf’s stomach. “I just want to touch it." 

"Ed-boy, that is…er, well…" Ed had begun massaging the muscles of Rolf’s shoulders; truth be told, they were terribly sore. The previous day, he had carried all of the sheep to their new enclosure by himself, and Ed’s hands were strong, nearly as strong as his own. 

"I think you like it, Rolf. Your cheeks are doing that thing Double D’s do when Kevin smiles at him." Rolf opened his mouth to respond, but he wasn’t entirely sure what to say. Certainly, having the Ed-boy so near was pleasant, but Rolf had very little time to entertain such thoughts, and even less time to act on them. Yet here he was, chores completed, and Ed seemingly willing to act on his desires. Why shouldn’t he respond in kind? “Your chest is fuzzy, like the back of a Gnorbian Slorgherder." Ed rubbed his face against Rolf’s chest, which he was proud to say had grown a fair amount of dark hair upon it since his recent foray into adulthood. 

"Ed-boy, your words confuse Rolf…" Rolf sighed and allowed Ed to ease him against the front wall of the shed, slide his hands up and down over the skin of his torso and nuzzle his face into his neck. “Rolf fears you enjoy the feeling of his hide too much." 

"But Rolf, how can I know without seeing the rest?" Ed asked, a seemingly innocent question, but somehow Rolf could sense a great mischief in Ed’s tone, and he gulped.

"Th-the rest of Rolf? Nonsense, Greedy-handed Ed-boy, there is no more to see—" But Ed had already slid one hand down to the zipper of his pants and, with surprising dexterity, unbuttoned them and slid it down enough for him to slip his hand beneath the waistband of his boxers. Rolf fought back the urge to groan when Ed’s hand closed around him.

"This part is fuzzy too, Rolf." Ed’s grin widened and, with his free hand, he pulled Rolf’s jeans down lower, enough to allow himself to move more freely.

"Ed-boy, certainly Rolf should close the door to the shed before—"

"Got it!" Ed yelled, nearly making Rolf jump out of his skin. Swinging his leg out, Ed kicked the door shut, startling the chickens that had been pecking at the dirt beside it. “No more distractions now, Rolf." He uttered into Rolf’s ear in the strange, sing-song sort of way that he had. Rolf gulped audibly and braced his hands on the wall. “You’re shaking like a pigeon, Rolf. That’s good, right?" Ed moved his closed fist over Rolf slowly, using the other to pull him closer by his waist. “You have hands too, Rolf."

"R-rolf is aware of his anatomy, Ed-boy…" Ed lowered his head to Rolf’s chest and ran his broad tongue over his nipple. 

"Adventure is the gravy of life, Rolf." He murmured before continuing to lick along the line of Rolf’s ribcage, suckling on the sensitive skin above his abdomen, all the while continuing to stroke him in his underwear. “Alley-oop," Ed whispered against Rolf’s stomach as he yanked his boxers down.

"Ed-boy, Rolf knows not what you plan to do with the—" Before he could finish his sentence, Ed was on his knees in front of him, looking up with an expression of complete adoration. 

"Sit back and enjoy, Rolf. The pleasure is yours." With that, Ed closed his lips around the head of Rolf’s cock, and Rolf couldn’t help but be astonished by how warm and slick his mouth was. Never before had he been able to create such a sensation, even in his own private attempts in the washtub. It took every scrap of his willpower not to thrust his hips forward between Ed’s teeth, but luckily he did not have to wait long for him to proceed. Ed had a particularly large mouth—he had done unbelievable things with it before—and it was nothing for him to envelop Rolf inside of it, his tongue creating a pillow for him. 

Rolf, on the other hand, had doubled over, keeping himself from falling into Ed with one hand while the other cradled his head in his palm, steadying him as he began to move his head back and forth. He felt his hips ache to thrust back, to meet Ed’s ministrations, but Rolf knew better. To choke the Ed-boy would only cause them both embarrassment. Instead, he grasped at Ed’s hair and held on for dear life, screwing his eyes shut and gasping for breath. Ed had begun to massage the junction between Rolf’s head and shaft with the tip of his tongue, while his hands roamed over his bare thighs, fondling him from the cheeks of his behind to his knobbly knees.

"Ed-boy…" Rolf clenched his teeth, feeling his legs begin to shake and his stomach coil with the familiar sensation of coming apart. “Rolf cannot…restrain himself…" Ed smiled up at him. 

"Let yourself fly like a mantis, Rolf. But please do not eat my head." Rolf would have laughed, had Ed not returned to sucking him, harder this time and with deeper thrusts. Rolf didn’t last much longer, shuddering and gripping Ed’s shoulders as he emptied himself into his mouth, trying his best not to cry out and disturb his Nana resting inside. He slid down to the floor, leaning his head back on the corrugated aluminum, cool against his neck. Ed, meanwhile, leaned over him, nuzzling his neck and pressing kisses to his cheek.

"Rolf did not fathom that Ed-boy could be so…affectionate." Ed’s smile widened.

"I am a mysterious enigma full of crumbs, Rolf." Ed wiggled his fingers and let out a soft, warbling noise. 

"Rolf will never understand you, Ed-boy." He pulled Ed down by the faded lapels of his jacket, pressing his lips to his. Rolf’s mouth had been agape for so long that Ed’s was quite hot in comparison, and he drank up the taste of himself on his tongue, a strange contentment settling inside him. “This does not bother Rolf so much."  


End file.
